my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Randomize
