She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
