So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Its about making memories worth repressing
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
