did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Randomize
