What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
i think my cat just said my name.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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