He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
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