did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
