I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
