Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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