Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
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