wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
