You work out of a Hotel?
im having a threesome with these popsicles
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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