it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
He passed out mid-signature
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
