this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
