you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
