You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
