I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Randomize
