WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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