Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
