The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
