the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Bring me that man meat
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Randomize
