As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Randomize
