For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
They have beer where we have blood.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
