you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
