if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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