im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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