Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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