I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Please don't give away my fajitas
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
