Little spoons don't ask big questions
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
