Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
