The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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