i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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