wakey wakey hands off snakey
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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