i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
They took my balls.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
