it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
