Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
It's shark week go big or go home
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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