Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
