Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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