Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
