If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
