I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
