3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
