I cockslap morals
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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