that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
