I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I FOUND THE LEGS
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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