He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
