Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Randomize
