i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
