You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
and you fell through a lawn chair
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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