Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
