i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
